I have lived in New York had plans to live a lot longer in London and am now back in good old Minnesota. I had it all and now I have 2 suitcases and my dignity. I made a stand for all woman that although we are the kinder sex we also won't put up with anything less then what we deserve. You men out there listen up. This isn't a bashing blog nor is it a blog about poor old me, I am just fine. I gave up just about everything in the quest for love and ended up losing but that doesn't mean I would change it. Sometimes when you know your part in matters the downslide doesn't seem all that bad even though it sometimes seems that way. You pickup the pieces and stand up straight even when your feet don't seem to be planted in any one place.
So it didn't work out but what did is incredible. You realize that you have everything you need and everything you want will come. Sometimes you ask yourself what the point of it all was but then I think about all the experiences in the last year, all the wonderful people I met and then the answer to that questions is no longer needed. Its to say that through it all you always have yourself and that is all that is needed. You are here right now, alive and man does that feels good.
I flew out on May.25th to London and flew back on a one way ticket back to Minnesota on July.5th. I had 2 suitcases, 1 guitar and 20.00 in my bank account. I had no car, no job and only family to stay with. I cried in secret (and at random moments) for the next week, pretty sure I didn't even know my name. Each day gave me new insight and progressively I got a car, a job and a working cell phone. I fed myself through the support of family and dear friends and had only an appetite from water and cigarettes. So we have all been there right? I hadn't till this point but let me tell you it's like mourning a death or severing off an arm. I turned to meditation, long boarding and self reflection instead of drugs, drinking or another man.
I live now and dwell less in the actions of another, thats the past. I am here to say that strength is an instinct and intuition is a gift. When a door closes a window (even though small) opens. With whatever it is in your life. We all experience it on some level to some degree. A breakup, a death, a loss, an accident, a missed opportunity either way it pulls on the strings of every fiber of your body. It consumes some longer then others but it is the human condition. A shared condition. But let me tell you my friends the window wasn't small and the door was easy to close.
