Not Having a Bed

So I haven't had my own bed since May.25th, that's when I started living out of a suitcase which let me tell you HAS BEEN THE BEST TIME EVER!  Not only have I been completely nomadic but have also been without a consistent bed of my own, wait correction a ROOM of my own.  Laundry baskets and a suitcase filled with my life, my car has become my only real place.  Back and forth, life in multiple places sometimes I wonder if I deserved all of this?  What did I do?  The first couple of months were fine but now I'm pissed.  Nothing is more upsetting then a very bad immature breakup and then on-top of it not having a space is a whole new low for me.  

Since May.25th I have been stripped which is okay but I can only go so long, I can only take so much.  I am only one person.  I have done good and nobody around me has had such in intimate relationship with strength then I.  So I haven't had a bed, I know its just stuff but nothing feels more lonely then to not have a place of your own.  It's been long enough.   

Thank goodness the ticket to move to Manhattan has been booked for Oct.24th.  I paint a lovely picture of my new room.  A creative fresh and clean space of my own filled with my own things in their perfect little place.  My place, my home.  I know exactly what it's going to look like I paint this picture everyday in my mind.  That's how I know things are getting better.  I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, my journey is taking me to something great.  I already did great things with the months in Minnesota.  I have seen 75 live shows, got my vision for the project, and put myself back together.  So maybe I don't have a bed right now but soon enough I will.  So I don't have a space of my own but in a few weeks I will.  

I never knew of my patience even though I'm at the last little bit of it.  I never knew of strength until I held my head up high and kept walking.  I never knew of courage until I left something that wasn't right.  I didn't know trust until I found it in myself and no-one knows real love until they have loved themselves first.   

If all I need is a bed and space I think I have done well considering my last year.  The most remarkable thing of all is that I didn't walk away from this with anger, distrust or an unwillingness to forgive and that my friends is a beautiful way to be.

I'm ready to have my space, my home and a bed to lay my head down at night.  And it doesn't hurt that  it will be in the greatest city in the world!