A person is not how they treat their friends but how they deal with their enemies.
I heard this and stopped and pondered at how simple yet complex this statement was. Such truth in someone's overall character, some people never get this. They think they can brush it off, sweep under the rug and shrug their shoulders as if it magically goes away. IT DOESN'T. I have been talking about this for a long time now that one creates a debt both good and bad with enemies or friends. It's like a tide in the ocean that slowly creeps up into the sand overtime. It may not always be visible but its there. You put on your best poker face, shades and all and blindly walk through life never really acknowledging your debt. But like any debt good or bad its like a third arm, its a part of you and only certain conscious beings can sense it. I can see it all around me this third arm syndrome. What people don't get is that this debt is fairly easy to clear but acknowledgment is needed in doing so. Also a certain combination of forgiveness, respect and maturity.
When you observe your life one usually can shed some light on something that was clearly handled with disgrace. If you quiet yourself long enough it will come from your belly to your spine and up into your brain that something went clearly wrong or clearly right. It will require a small amount of feeling on your behalf and courage in saying that you fucked up or couldn't of done it any other way. Admitting wrongs isn't easy, saying it was justified is a poor excuse creating even more debt.
Masking, replacing, guilt, lack of acknowledgment and having no time to heal are all part of the poker face. It's still there, its a part of you and will remain a part of you no matter how much time passes you will always remember the taste someone left in your mouth. Isn't life too short for all of this? Why carry this with you and too bad you can't just cut it out of your life because it IS your life. The book you write is so unique to yourself so when you read it stop at all the many chapters and acknowledge the charaters in it. Did you do the right thing? Can you clear that debt today? Has too much time passed? Did that make me feel good, did that make someone feel bad?
It's a crazy messed up world, no doubt but when I look at my credit score it makes me happy. When I read my book and see my characters I am proud. I wonder if the same is true for you. Stop, reflect and learn and answer my question..How much personal debt do you carry?
