This place isn't for everyone its dirty, rough and unforgiving. It chews you up, spits you out gives you a little but takes much more. It's confusing, packed..perfect. Even though I only had 5 brief months with it, I wanted more. I wasn't done with it and never should of left but like I said it was all supposed to happen although it could have been a smoother ride. My situation couldn't have been any worst in my opinion because I lived it but you know what I did that I did a little thing called-
re·in·vent verb (used with object)
- to invent again or anew, especially without knowing that the invention already exists.
-to remake or make over, as in a different form.
-to bring back; revive: to reinvent trust and accountability.
You didnt think I was eating cookies and crying all day, did you? Sure moments happen but come my situation still doesn't make sense and it NEVER will. Whats the fucking point? You protect yourself first and thats the point of it all. Keep yourself close, hold on and shut up and listen to what you need. No excuses, have a moment to yourself in fact have many. Your relationship with number one (yourself) will determine how your number two relationship (partner) goes.
NYC the first time wasn't for me it was for someone else and then we were hardly there and another move was presented really without any thought. I daydream about when I step off the plane on NY soil. I have a feeling that my smile will be bigger then it has ever been, it will be a sense of relief that all the broken pieces of the last couple of months finally fell back into place. My recovery has been interesting but I am thankful that one I was smart enough to reinvent and two brave enough to conquer Manhattan by myself. Plus I dont have to answer to anyone but myself.
Life is good, isnt it?
