Its never easy, in fact its the hardest part. Although its not tears of sadness or regret. Its not from a bad place or some place insincere. Its real and raw, honest and true. The goodbyes pill up alongside the fall leaves. Each one a little harder, each one still significant.
I know what I'm leaving, I know my journey that I am on. I never lost sight of it just momentarily pushed on pause. When things get tough, I know I have you. When things were bad, you were there. I'm ready just not ready to say goodbye to all the many familiar faces. This is what I dislike the most. You would think it would get easier but it doesn't. Its a wonderfully amazing foundation but damn it's hard to be apart. It's never easy not seeing you. Your face looks so real in memory I can practically touch it. That's how I can say goodbye, or rather see you soon.
Its time for this caged bird to fly. Its an amazing journey, scary as it may be to those around me its my path. You may not understand why it needs to happen but for me its the only way I see. I have a dream bigger then myself sometimes. I opened a can of worms, I fought some inner stuff but I'm okay. My dream is unfolding and if I don't jump now, I may never. If I don't follow it I may lose it which can't be possible in my eyes.
New York will be kind to me. It took me the first time and I never wanted to leave it, I never wanted to let it go. Its days away, the hardest is what Im in right now. The days leading up to it are supposed to be great but to me they are sad. Sad in a good way. Sad because I won't be able to hug you. Sad because I won't be able to have a glass of wine next to you. Sad because your memories are my memories. I will always be there but the physical me can't walk with you. That's a hard part for me. When New York is cruel I will have your voice, I will have the comfort of knowing that you are there.
I dont say goodbye, I say see you soon.
