The Wonder

My heart swells with an intense love for I again am doing what I love.  My clouds came in the moment the music stopped playing.  Sometimes I feel like my soul is one giant record player.  But it stopped.  The needle didn't follow the grind of the record.  I heard nothing just people talking.  I write often about when you fall out of love with the one thing that feeds you.  I ate but was starving.  I loved but was always searching.  It has been a long road.  Confronted by all the fears you never realized you had.  New York brings things to you at a more intense rate.  Your strength is always tested, your weaknesses are always exposed.  The learning curve sometimes wrecks my brain.  But then you think of your story and know so far deep down that this happened to you for some odd reason and if you gave up now you still would wonder.  This wonder would most certainly take my last breath from me.  This wonder would make me search for the rest of my life.  It would kill me.

I am on my second journey of creating music.  Its the only thing that actually makes sense to me at this point.   The music is the best I have done to date.  If I would have given up, if you gave up during the process you will always wonder.  You will sit there with a half written book, pages tore and thrown away.  You will always paint your ending instead of living it out.  The doors are more open now, the instinct sharper.  I said before that I was in round 35 and had one swing left in me, I was actually in round 10 with much more to go.  Your reality seems much harsher then it actually is.

Here's to my new love affair with music..and in whatever you are doing just remember you are probably not done yet.  Keep going and remember its round 10 not 35 and you always one more punch.