Its the longest road. 5 months of my new world, a world stripped of most familiarity. I miss my family. Admitting it most surly feels like I swallowed an acorn. I swell with rain in my eyes. I went too long. You shut it off long enough to not feel what missing someone feels like, the more intense the love the pipe begins to rust. The water erodes and wears, overlook it too long and the pipe breaks and lets out such a intense gush. In order to continue on in this journey I have learned that one gets good at this turning off process because when you truly love someone and are away from them, on most days it kills you. When you love 10 people intensely, it gives such an ache in your soul when you cant physically kiss them. Hug them just sit with them...just be with them.
You miss birthdays, events. Life events, sometimes just the day to day which is exciting enough. 5 months was too long. Some days you feel forgotten, that they are moving on without you. Its too long to go without the ones that protect you, love you not because they have to but because they are a part of you. Without even one of them there is always a piece missing, I cant imagine how it feels for them. The missing is like a black cloud over my entire days leading up to when I go home. Because what matters is beyond anything I could ever have here. The hometown isn't much, but its perfect. The food isn't that great but its not what feeds you. The laughter of hearing my brothers kids is just just.... I cant really put that one in words. When I wake up I see everyone around me and know I am home and thats a feeling New York could never give unless all 10 of them were here.
7 days to make up for a long 5 months.
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