Oh shit no one ever told me that this would happen. That on some days its hard to even listen to a note or sing a tune. When life happens and splashes you with real and heavy waves. When someone comes back into your life that once haunted you. When people leave you and your away from anything truly familiar no one ever tells you about this. No one tells you that this happens. That sometimes your love kind of goes away for a little bit which makes you feel so distant from well..you.
It happened and I know why it did and something said to hold on and breath, its just too much right now. I can't be creative (when this probably would have helped). The creative spirit comes in waves, happiness sometimes does as well. It is a rollarcoaster and we are the passengers and its not the ride that matters its how you deal when it stops. How you keep it going is far more important. When it stopped, I felt so sad but more importantly I reexamined a few things. Life will bump you like that, it doesn't care but it is there for a reason. You can choose to stop or try something different, I choose to try something different because I never want to wonder if there was a road I didn't travel down . I never want to look into my nieces and nephews eyes and say " I gave up and when life is hard you should too."
No one ever talks about the times when we fall. But I can say that it takes time and certain people come out of the woodwork to remind you that theres something inside of you. Its not music that I choose to fight for, I don't fight for anything but I stand for every creative person that just wants to express something. No its not music, its this little sparkle inside of me and all of us that I never want to see die. Its the bravery and courage that I stand for when there isn't a path that others can see but is an inner map a guild within myself.
Noone ever tells you when picking up a pen and writing feels like moving a mountain. When you grow up, this becomes all too familiar. I think these are beautiful moments to change a game plan, reevaluate your situation and hold close the ones that protect your inner spirit. I am coming out of my fall, and it was hard but I hope it encourages you to never give up and to get back on the rollarcoaster and continue on with the ride...until it comes to a stop once again.
