I remember how I felt when I first heard Ray Charles. Like the real Ray, not the most popular songs but the real ones. The tracks when he was new at Atlantic Records. The ones where if you listen, like really listen you can hear pages turn. If you listen, really become the song you could hear his voice break. Break just a little, the pain ever so bending his vocal chords. And the best part was you could feel it. Every bit of it. Thats what I love. I would put on my headphones and become lost in a world of no time. Its a beautiful time when there is no time at all. I would stay up and be shocked that I went so long without him. I remember the day, I remember smoking pot on the porch of my old place in Minnesota nursing a bruised heart and the biggest life hangover no pill could cure and then I had Ray. Not only did I have Ray but I also had pot and a giant marker. Oh and giant paper boards. I must have looked like a crazy because for awhile there I would have headphones on and be writing on these giant boards, high. And they were pink of all colors. I would sit and be consumed with such creative energy I thought I knew it all. I took my beat up heart and it fell in love with this man. It started then.
Then Ray somehow lead me to Billie Holiday and I remember hearing her voice on vinyl and thats when I knew. It was so completely heartbreaking and honest it it it..changed me. It wasn't the most perfect voice but it told a story. When a man teaches you that your heart can in fact break, Billie came in at the most perfect of times. It was the moment my heart shattered and my reality then switched. All the pain, emotion that overwhelmed a swelling heart was somehow soothed by a voice that had seen and heard it all. I always want more, but when you come out of depression from a heartache then Billie isn't the pill you take. If you swallow to much of her greatness it keeps a dark cloud a tad too close. I also know my voice better, it needs some no nonsense wont be taken your shit kind of approach. I did in fact leave a man in London after all. I packed my 2 suitcases up and left his poor pathetic soul across the pond. I needed Etta. Etta could now suit how pissed I was allowing the power to come in. Either way I learned punctuality and quality of lyrics from both.
https://soundcloud.com/daniellemueller/billie-holiday-ill-be-seeing
The way Etta hangs on every note, I just melt every song to every word to every switch. The blues, but the biggest thing is the power. The complete power. I never do want a song to end. You feel every word, she makes you listen to every fucking word. Instead of buying one or two songs from this woman you buy a whole record. None stands before or really after this woman. Its exactly what you need when your ready and if you can handle it. Its exactly what you need when your ready, a true blessing that I got and more importantly understood her. Its a blessing.
https://soundcloud.com/daniellemueller/blues-to-the-one-only-ms-etta
To all 3, my greats. The angels from 2 years ago that open up doors to me. That have made seasoned New York musicians understand my style. That has developed Dani, that has made me well me. A more honest me. In order to become a musician you do need to understand the greats. I am lucky to have been touched by these 3 and many more. But the books, vinyle and CD's (yes I still play CD's) overflow after all this time with them. I am grateful.
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