The lump in my throat grows. Everyone has their cameras out and I start to loss faith in humanity. This isn't disney world. Completely still I take it all in. I walk to the south pool with its edges covered in names of bodies that have been swallowed into these grounds. The recycling pools of water going deep into the earth. It really is peaceful and traffic all at the same time. People are taking pictures by the memorial, smiling and its so confusing. This is a grave, a memorial and people are smiling taking pictures of themselves and it makes me sick. I walked very far away from this and end up on the north pool. My hands following the letters from all the names written into the edge, 3,000 names. I walk to the corner and watch the water be engulfed by the ground. It sounds like the ocean. All day it has been raining and the rain has ceased.
When you stand in lower Manhattan the slivers between the buildings are far and few. I was alone on the edge and I said with the most intense sigh that "I was sorry." With no intent of hearing a response and I wasn't stating this to anyone in general but still felt this need to do so. These 3,000 lives ended here because of war, because of difference. Fellow humans that cant see past differences taking lives. Money, greed and power. All to prove a point but the point is that as my fingers followed David Silvers name and it was there that I was reminded that he was a person with a family. Maybe he was a dad but he was someones son. Then I trace Scott Thomas Coleman and with a voice inside as loud as if I spoke it said "What happened that day wasn't your fault." I wondered in that moment what had happened and sat very still and became as present as I could. This next part of the story I wish I was making up only because at first it freaked me out. A beam of light opened through the clouds and fell directly on where I was standing. The ray left the sun and found a tiny sliver between the buildings and landed directly on me. With a feeling of awe and shock droplets of rain came pouring down my cheeks. The stark space and how empty it felt when I first walked in didn't feel that way anymore. I don't believe I was alone. Just because you cant see something doesn't mean its not there. It was a beautiful moment and it made me see things a little differently.
This is a huge moment within our society as a human race not just as Americans and Im not one to be controversial or hypothetical but there is and was more to 911 then we will probably ever know. When people search for answers they are called whistleblowers or conspiracy theorists. I think there is always a bigger picture always a motive that wont appear until you start asking questions. Its easy to be sheep but when you put your iphone down and turn off the Kardashians you will find that all the distractions are what separates you from this truth. We will look back at this and one day see it for what it really was and what it was not. Just start seeking.
