Perhaps its not what it seems, at first. Just a glimmering light amidst all the darkness. You can only think it, and never in your wildest will you fully see it's potential. Only you know what it took to get here. Only you felt all the emotions of choosing a different path. A path without a plan, a path without a map. It is then you have found the secret, that you are responsible for your own life.
Its been such a journey. From leaving the love I thought would have lasted. Broke, down, without things. It was then I picked a mic up to feel, something. But I didn't have an instrument, no musicians in sight but I began in that moment to sing. Solo. From time to time I still listen to those recordings, I find simple joy in knowing that I went back to what I knew. But the truth is that I knew nothing. Nothing that special. It started glimmering, but never did I think I would create a album. I hadn't even started yet. What did I know? Enough.
The next 2 years until present day I would have survived depression from a heartache, sometimes I still feel down. I have learned to channel it into music now. My mantra for the next 2 years was make something that once was ugly, beautiful and then share it.
We are about to release a record of 10 of the best songs that came from a chapter I am so happy to close. Joyful to start another go. In truth many songs came from this chapter of my life but these are my most profound moments. The ones good enough to write an album over.
I would be lying if I said that the greatest gift was him all along. He gave me such a crash that if I wouldn't have gone through it I wouldn't be the writer I am now. I learned to forgive which allowed me to heal and in doing so I saw the situation much clearer. I never wrote songs from anger only from a place of healing, when it reaches ears I hope they hear this. It was ugly at times, I remember crying my way through many of the songs I wrote. I used to feel silly and now I feel honored. To have been involved in something tragic and yet beautiful is a life lesson I take with me and wear like the gray hairs this breakup gave me.
These 10 songs represent a life. All different and equally transformative. The situations were private and real. All perfect ways to start an adventure of my life. When stripped of everything, I took a look at music and began to heal and grow.
This is your life. Never care what others will think if your intentions are good. We need brave art. Stand tall and know you will be hated and loved, thats life. Its so worth it. Then share it, all of it. I wonder if he thinks I hate him, if I saw him I would hug him and say thank you for being a chapter in my life that I am now ready to close but only when each song is beautiful. I'm finally ready.
