I never said it was easy. The adjustment to moving wears on routine and finding your place again, whatever that means. It means different things for different people. Finding your home, anything that feels like home. Feeling like you have a place that's yours. Feeling out of place in new adventures. Not being bogged down with lack of consistancy. It's hard sometimes, most times. Moving is stressful and exciting. I feel like I'm a pro always taking on new adventures that sound exciting but still come with downsides. I'm not a professional though, I feel stress. I am way too familiar with lonilness and feeling like a fish out of water. It's not glamorous, most days I miss my family. I miss my idea of what home is and find it and seek it in new places. I still know where home is and no other place compares to it. But I can't go back now and that sucks sometimes.
I did give up a life of routine and what some would call consistancy. I was a teacher then a Morgage broker and always felt unsettled. I did have an awakening that forever changed my life. Don't get me wrong I am grateful. I am grateful for every road this life has offered to me. As the days continue to pass and my life continues to offer new adventures I still am shocked that I was offered this ride. That I recieved both challenging and rewarding changes that I embraced with a price of course. That through my eyes I view life much differently. Every so offen I say thank you to a journey that isn't complete yet. I wonder if others do this or if it's just me. If in a routine life, do they know what they have? Is it the life you have always wanted or did it take you for a ride? A ride I will never forget.
For the faces and places I have seen I am grateful. For those who have put up with my journey both good and bad, I say thank you. For always offering me challenges and risks. For the good and the bad. For moments when I stop. For moments I feel lost. For moments when I wouldn't have it any other way. I am thankful. For the love of my family always teaching me that whereever this life takes me I always have a home. For the signs I have received along the way, for singing on New York stages. For bringing me to LA. For the places I haven't been yet, I am grateful because I feel like I am living. Living a life that always amazes me.
