Spring.

It was over. Like the way a snowfall happens in March when you think winter is over but it's not. The way it fools you. I know spring is coming and he always thought winter would stay. Now that's when we became different. You and I.  I always knew that and you didn't. Maybe that's when a change came because Sping was on us and we were having a bad day. It would pass and the birds would sing and the blossoms would bloom cause that's what spring does, if you only saw it. You wanted to stay in winter and for that I finally understood what would come of us. It never changed and you never saw Spring.

Drivers Seat.

Living in a creative city helps the juices flow. For sure you feel the spirits that still haunt a city. You can not not be inspired. I used to think that one needed to be in a city in order to be creative. Creativity lives in you either way. As my life has chosen different roads for me, I know this to be true.  My time in NYC was an education that money couldn't buy.  As the tide changed for me feeling like I was going to somehow fall off the creative train was a dooming thought that simply wasn't true.

I had a thought one day that I would never sing again and it pushed me into such sadness I knew I couldn't bare it. Sometimes a break isnt a bad thing but the process of what that meant has propelled me to continue to choose this dream.  It's not something you easily give up on. I remember what I learned and took away from that moment in time. It's a special part of what makes life so interesting.  I now what it took to end up in my small hometown again but the thing I wasn't gonna do is forget that. It's all a giant lesson and sometimes it feels unfair or stacked against you but if you continue to write and create then I know the creative city helped me but didn't become me. It was me along. It is you all along.

In that chapter of my life it was perfect and for this chapter it isn't. It's not to say that one day it won't happen again. For now the pressure is off and being true to myself will create even better art. Until the road changes again and who knows what that will bring. I am grateful for it all.  The good and the bad and the unknown future. I am a dreamer by nature and now I know it starts with me in the drivers seat continuing to make it happen. No one else will do that for you, so keep driving.

My Mother.

It's been a long road.
Mostly it has been good.
There have been times,
There are always times.
When we need a hand,
A look in the eye.
Just kindness.
Cause I'm not gonna break, you know.
Only she knows that.
I wish others knew that.
A mothers does.
And it changes you.
And you are better for it.
Changed because of her.
The single most important thing.
Just to have her.
And never let her go.
Or make her think you grew too fast.
You will be her baby forever.
She's the keeper.
My mother.