Incredible how time can change almost everything. How deeply important following your heart is. When something just isn't right, when you feel it in your bones and make a choice. A choice that changes everything. To leave, to stay. Life is so rooted in directions and crossroads. Decisions. With the last 5 years ever changing and growing. It hasn't been boring to say the least. My life of twists and turns.
I pulled the plug on LA and landed back in a town I thought I was done with. Perhaps it wasn't done with me, yet. I hated it at first and then it grew me and recovered me. Like chasing clouds my happiness felt at times but even the low was better than other things. Focused and put my head down. Chose my heart above all else. Became quiet. Things just weren't working and that's ok. Another downtime, I have done this before. I didn't give up on my happiness and what love should be for me. What love wasn't and no one was to blame. It was a perfect mess, really. But when the plug was pulled it was a relief honestly. It also opened me up for the love of my life. Again, how time changes everything.
After New York and LA, I am home and running a jazz club in St.Paul. A true dream job. I paused my life that felt wrong and chose a simpler way of doing things. It was a direction truly fit for me which required strength to demand a different way. Courage to also be alone. A way out became a way back into my life. Even if it meant leaving a life behind that was never mine and creating something for me.
I am happy and it took time. It took months honestly but I look at my life and am glad I pulled the plug when I did and found a deep love that I first made for myself in order to give to someone else. In the end it always works out.
Take time.
