Montauk.

Its a sleepy town.  Almost vacant the streets at night, almost no one walks.  All you hear is the raging ocean. Its always close.  A quietness that stills the most restless of souls. Its were every thought seems to rest on each wave.  Every once shattered hope is revived.  Moment to moment happens here, with not much else to do.   Its a close place from a city that never sleeps. How can something exist so close to its opposite? Every visit feels different, a new part of the island to explore.  It reminds me of home. There no existential crisis here, except for what to eat and when to sleep.

With just a crack in the door, the most peaceful of sounds comes in. I could sleep here forever.  The rain came through this morning and every drop that fell on the rooftop was heard.  A beautiful dance that followed a deep sleep.  If you haven't slept in years, you finally woke as if you did. With the ocean and rain taking you by the hand and leading you into a peaceful journey.

This ocean is more energetic, makes you think about life.  Life in its magical way, nothing heavy.  A deep respect for what is unknown and a nonresistance to something bigger then oneself.  I can only be grateful.  It reminds me of how small I am, how much I still need to learn. Where I have come, where I still need to go.

By the ocean my thoughts are set free into a world I may not know but trust. I hear it calling me closer to it to be embraced by the smell of salt and the gentle wind thats marked by the sting of a cold January. Although I live in concrete it will never give me the solitude nature always does. It will never guild me the way nature always does.  It will never make sense the way nature always has.

Death.

Death surrounds every
Beautiful flower
That once bloomed.
All the gray.
The moss leftover.
The ivory clings
To what's left of the earth.
It's my loneliest time.
Sun still rises
But you miss the way it feels.
It's a maddening tunnel
That never seems to end.
Then I remember.
As if it just left yesterday.
The bright hopefulness of spring,
The smell of lilac,
I miss it's determination.
To try again.
Be better then last year.
Become as beautiful as it once remembered.
As I remembered.
I'm tired of seeing
Death.

Woman.

I saw her
Beautiful presence of
Womanly being
I knew I loved her then
I saw her
Essence and grace
Stockings up high
Red on her lips
You felt as if you have been with her
Before
It was the art of holding what you were up high
Pride is ones worse predator
Rare.
She was everything
It wasn't a look
Hardly a moment
When you see her
You kind of just stop.
The way the skirt hugged her.
She was everything
That mattered about
 being a woman.

The Sea.

I walk somber

Against the fainted tan

Crisp air you followed me

Salt air keeps me

I have missed you

Like memories of me

When I was...

All my darkest 

Come for you 

The promise you make

That in the end

There is only you

But that is enough. 

Playing with fire.

I lite a fire
Grew in my hands
The glow alone
Could light a world
Unknown.
I watched it dance
Fiery flames of madness
Till it blushed my palms
I got too close.
Blistered.
Heat.
Fire.
Ice cubes!
I got too close.

Rain.

I want to dance in it.
The drops fall
Heavy
Like children's pitter patter
Suddenly I only listen to you
When I hear you.
Smells so brisk
Salty like the ocean
You have traveled far,
I breath calmer
Inhale deeper
When I smell you.
Stained droplets scatter
When you stop
I can only pray you will
One
Day
Return
So I can dance again.

When I Left.

I had to go
I couldn't stay
My feet began to move
Before my mind caught up
I knew it then
I would hurt you
Deeply
It's not a natural thing
For me
When I went
I felt alone
Deeply
My only companion being
The crunch of ice under my toes
It's the only thing I felt
Cold
Like the frozen rain
The falling chrystals
The melted snow
The shoes that didn't fit
I ended up on a street
I didn't recognize
It became clear then
What I was running from
I had to go
I couldn't stay
When my feet began to move
It was from myself
And not from you.